Tuesday, May 25, 2010

nest: collaborative tangles with a delicate internal balance

Ok, here's the skinny on the happenings around here. Last month the public school behind my "new old house" announced that it would only have room for current students to be enrolled for 1st grade next year (due to state budget cuts). In light of that fact we had to make some magic happen. So yesterday afternoon Chuck and Sage flew back to Evanston to enroll Sage for the last few weeks of Kindergarten there. The weeks leading up to yesterday filled me with a nervous energy that made it hard to focus on anything other than preparing myself for the separation. I've been a mom for over 13 years and I've never missed anything big and here my littlest guy is going off to a new school without me. But you know what, he's there now and he's fine and I'm fine. Sage is so excited and is in the more than capable hands of my husband with my best friend (and her amazing family) as back up and support (ok, the fact that we can use the mac to video chat doen't hurt either). So for the next few weeks it's just me and the big kids and I will have more time to paint, to pack and to be present here. This is probably much more information than you needed but I feel as if I've been hovering here for a while and this first step back towards home has put me on more solid ground. The image of a nest has been presenting itself to me quite often and I am especially loving the unexpected photo of a nest gifted to me by Tara which will have a special place in my "new old house". The nest photo above was taken with my iphone from a couple weeks ago and forgotten about until this morning...it was a sweet surprise. My nest is messy and tangled for sure, but it is also strong and beautiful. I bet yours is too...thanks for reading.


Tara Thayer said...

i don't know why I'M teary at this, but oh, i can imagine how much is going on inside of you with all of this.
i'm sure that was a hard choice to figure out, but it will all work.
keep me posted, and enjoy the time with just two.

tangled sky studio said...

thanks tara
it's all moving in the right direction. i'm getting used to thinking about everything as a process... you know?

justagirl said...

I am glad this is all working out for you... You are right everything is a process we just have to push through. Am looking forward to seeing your new works. x

chrissy said...

dear beth
i too, like tara, am a bit teary at your heart tugs.
i guess it.s like that when we are mothers.
i was thinking about "sage" and his strong name and the meaning that it invokes when i read it.
"sage" speaks of quiet wisdom and strength to me.
for some reason, i feel as though with your dear chuck and your sweet friends in evanston...
"sage" is going to be well loved and surrounded until you can nestle down into that "old.new.nest" with him again soon.
thank you for sharing your story beth.
you have my thoughts and prayers.
happy creating in the meantime...


Beth said...

glad you're doing well beth! funny though, i just purchased this nest photo a few weeks ago. it's sitting on my desk (i got an ACEO size)


tangled sky studio said...

katherine and chrissy-thank you for the words of encouragement.
beth-lovely photo (especially that shade of blue!)

artslice said...

Oh my, it would be tough to see him go away without Mama. (I'm getting teary myself!) But, it sounds like he'll be fine with his dad. It's funny the games you have to play to get where you want to be! (the whole school thing)

Hope you'll be back to the old neighborhood soon, all tucked in doing fun stuff at the water's edge soon :)

Kolleen said...

thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers....

i think sometimes it is important
for our nests to get a little messy and tangled
for us to appreciate all the times
they are not and to realize that
"we will be okay" even in the tangled times!!

love and hugs to you and yours!

mummysam said...

oh, my dear.....what a "journey" this has become to return home. I can only imagine the moments of emotional heaviness this can take on, but soon you will be back where you were meant to be all along :)
(and i'll hopefully be there in the fall to enjoy a glass of wine with you, no?)